Masturbation is an important, healthy and standard sexual activity that gives people the ability to experiment with self-pleasure in a safe atmosphere. Learning to masturbate helps us find out how our body works and in the future, will help you confide in your partner what you need during sexual intercourse. The Gossard Big M Survey found that over 92% of women participate in Masturbation. Two thirds of these women, masturbate three times a week.
There are four different spots that can achieve a female orgasm including the Clitoris, G-Spot, A-Spot and the U-Spot. We will be looking at the two most common spots to orgasm including the Clitoris and G-Spot.
Clitoris stimulation is the easiest way to achieve orgasm and is located externally. The clitoris is located between the inner folds of the labia majora (outside lips) on the labia minora (inner lips) beneath the clitoral hood. When you are sexually stimulated the clitoris fills with blood making it hard and erect. The clitoris swells and retracts beneath the clitoral hood. The clitoris size, shape and location varies from person to person.
- Water Pressure: If you have a removable shower head or a pool/sauna with water jets, you can apply some warm water pressure onto your clitoris so you can begin to be aware of the pleasurable feeling that comes alongside clitoral stimulation.
- Use Your Fingers: The most common method to begin masturbation is by using your fingers for pinpoint stimulation whilst rubbing in a circular motion. You may find your clitoris stimulated easily on one side more than the other.
- Add a Layer: If you are finding your clitoris to be extra sensitive, massage your clitoris through your underwear or pants. The additional piece of clothing will cushion the pressure and any intense movements.
- Invest in a Sex Toy: The Satisfyer Range are the most bought and recommended direct clitoral stimulators at Aussie Love Shop. Buying a sex toy may be the easiest way to achieve a quick orgasm as it is motorised and perfected to achieve the best results.
- Grinding: Some people enjoy a more natural sensation of massaging their bodies into a softer or harder surface like a pillow. This type of stimulation will massage a bigger area and create a soft yet easy orgasm.
The G-spot also known as the Gräfenberg Spot is a delicate, grooved, coarse, bumpy, tissue that is 2.5cm to 5cms big. You can tell it’s the G-Spot because the area around it is smooth. It is located inside the front wall of the vagina and stimulation of this area can assist you to orgasm.
- Use Your Fingers: Lie on your back. Use your fingers to massage the insides of your vagina. Your fingers should massage up to the ceiling. Massage the entrance walls of the vagina and G-Spot.
- Invest in a Sex Toy: A sex toy with a simple curve will fulfil your needs for G-Spot stimulation. A beginner’s sex toy would be an Aphrodisia Fashion Succubi Bliss G or an OdecoInemes Ozone. They are both affordably priced and can be used for pinpoint stimulation. For easy penetration, it is recommended to use a water based lubricant to avoid any feelings of pain or uneasiness during your first time.
A blended orgasm is the combination of Clitoral Stimulation and G-Spot stimulation at the same time.
- Use Your Fingers: Place a finger inside to stimulate the G-Spot and use another finger in circles on your clitoris.
- Invest in a Sex Toy: My favourite Rabbit Vibrator for beginners and advanced users include the Adam & Eve The Silicone Rechargeable Bunny and Fantasy For Her Thrusting Silicone Rabbit which are both high end brands. You can use a sex toy to apply steady amounts pressure or move the sex toy inside and outside to mimic the penetrative sensations of sexual intercourse.
- For easy penetration, it is recommended to use a water based lubricant to avoid any feelings of pain or uneasiness during your first time. Water based lubricant work well with sex toys as it won’t degrade silicone.
There are two main erogenous zones that can assist in creating a stronger orgasm including the nipples and the anus.
Nipple play is a common method to enhance sexual arousal within women. Female nipples are super sensitive due to their levels of estrogen and progesterone. Smaller nipples are more sensitive as the nerve endings are packed into a smaller space while larger nipples may require additional stimulation and pressure as the nerve endings are more widely spaced out.
- Use Your Fingers: Massage, rub, play with your nipples and breasts. Any type of stimulation to your nipples will help your clitoris or g-spot stimulation increase.
- Use a Sex Toy: The rumbling vibrations of a sex toy will help to send your nipples into over drive.
Anal play can be combined with vaginal masturbation to create a stronger orgasm or sensual experience.
- Use Your Fingers: Insert a finger and feel full to create a stronger orgasm.
- But Plugs: Women can enjoy the fullness sensation of a butt plug or a dildo. Use lubricant. Don’t use a sex toy vaginally after it has been used anally. The sex toy must have a flared base. If you use a sex toy without a flared base, the anus may naturally suck it in causing you to need it to be professional removed in a hospital.
How to Achieve an Orgasm
- Keep a Steady Pace: I have found the easiest way to achieve orgasm is to masturbate at a steady pace.
- Clench Vaginal Muscles: Whilst focusing on maintaining the pleasurable sensation, softly clench your vaginal muscles to build up the pressure. The pleasurable sensation may increase or hold its feeling.
- Follow the Orgasm: When you reach a peak your muscles through your body will begin to clench. Continue to masturbate at a steady pace. As you are about to orgasm you will suddenly experience an intense release of pleasure. Your body will now feel a multitude of sensations from shivering, stretching out, body spasms, electricity, flows of warmth and a strong sense of sexual release. Continue to masturbate until the orgasm softens.
- Visual Stimulation: You may need additional visual stimulation to orgasm. Visual Stimulation may include day dreaming about one of your favourite fantasies. It can take time to develop what to think about but once you do, you’ll be able to achieve orgasms easier for the rest of your life. People who find fantasies to be difficult or need a change, can use erotic literature, porn magazines and DVDs.
First Hand Job
Hand jobs can be a fun and intimate experience especially if you feel passionate and happy to give one. Your lover will be able to relax and fully experience the pleasure if they know you are focusing on them.
- Foreplay: If this is his first time receiving a hand job, he might be extremely nervous or excited so he might be soft or hard. So when you put your hand down his pants, you might not know what you are going to get. Sometimes it is quite intimidating and embarrassing the first time you do some sex play. If you do get a soft penis, it is enjoyable to touch his penis and feel it go from soft to fully erect. You can tease him whilst you massage his erection through his pants. And if you are super playful, you can tease him until he is really hard and begs for his penis to be touched. Don’t tease him to much though, some people don’t like it. Since this may be your first time it is recommended to begin passionately kissing his lips, neck and body. When you are in the mood to begin, lower your hand onto his crotch. You can either begin to rub his inner thigh close to his testicles and massage your hand gently onto his bulge. Clutch onto his bulge through his pants. He will feel extremely sexually frustrated and may begin to moan.
- Take His Clothes Off: Now for the tricky part, getting his clothes off. You can remove his shirt, unbutton and unzip his pants and take them off. You can now begin to massage his package through his underwear or take off his underwear and go in for direct contact. He will enjoy either one.
- Add Spit or Lubricant: An uncircumcised man has a foreskin that wraps around a man’s penis during masturbation which doesn’t need any additional lubrication. If you find yourself with a circumcised penis you may need to grip the foreskin below and pull it further up his shaft. Add some spit or lubricant if required. To do this add some of the product on your hand and begin gently massaging it into the penis. If you add lubricant to an uncircumcised or circumcised erection, it gives you the ability to slide your whole hand over his penis without causing any pain.
- Ask Him: The quickest way to learn, is to get him to show you how he normally masturbates. Begin by watching his method, he will then let you grab on and try to show you how to appropriately give him a hand job. This will help him stimulate himself enjoyably whilst you are able to learn from him.
- The Grip: On one hand, place your thumb and pointer finger together to make an “O” shape. You can grab onto the foreskin and move it up and down over his shaft.
- Tightness: Try to make your hand as tight as your vagina would be during sex during his most pleasurable moments. You can try different amounts of tightness but make sure you are not hurting him in any way.
- Speed: Men enjoy a steady speed. You can start off slow and increase the speed as he builds his orgasm. Ask him if he would like it slower or faster. When he is about to orgasm, release your grip a little bit and slow down. His penis will become super sensitive when he is about to orgasm and can make for a painful experience.
- Two Handed: You can use two hands during the hand job. Lower one hand to the very bottom of his shaft. Place your other hand to cover the remaining part of his erection. You move your hands up and down whilst the top finger is still in the “O” grip.
- Ball Massage: Be extremely gentle and delicate with his balls. Cup his balls and massage them. He will feel a rush just from you touching them. You can fondle each ball separately or together. Gently squeeze, pull, cup tightly, jiggle and tug down. Use both hands and squeeze them together.
- The Penis Head: The Penis Head is one of the most sensitive parts on the male due to the high amounts of nerve endings. Use the “O” grip and stimulate the very top of his head in small movements. He will love it.
- Frenulum: The frenulum is skin that is on the underside of his penis. You can use the “O” grip to focus the hand job on his frenulum for 10 to 20 seconds. The Frenulum is extremely sensitive so it is recommended not to spend too much time massaging it.
- Position: Position yourself so you are comfortable. If you are both laying down, lie on the side so you are able to use your dominant hand.
- Anal Play: For the more experience he might like a finger in his anus to massage his prostate. Ask him what he would like, some men enjoy prostate massages and some don’t. Ensure your fingernails are cut so there are no sharp edges and they won’t point out to hurt him. Place some lubricant on your finger and insert it gently.